Long-Distance Caregiving

Marian Bruin, A.C.S.W, B.C.D.

From Florida Caregivers Handbook,

Ed. by Creston Nelson~Morrill, Healthtrac Books, Tallahassee, FL, 1993


Susan is a business executive in her home state of Michigan and is the mother of twoteenage sons. Ten years ago, her parents, Richard and Barbara, left Michigan and eagerlyjoined their friends in Clearwater.

Richard purchased a condominium while he was still practicing medicine, and he and Barbaraagreed to reside there year-round after his retirement. With their friends nearby, it wasa very pleasant retirement.

Nine months ago, Richard passed away unexpectedly. Susan flew down to Clearwater and spentthree weeks with her mother. Barbara's friends visited often, and she was able to maintainthe condominium until recently. Barbara then suffered a minor stroke, and Susan again flewdown to be with her.

Barbara was eager to leave the hospital. With the help of the hospital discharge planner,Susan was able to set up in-home physical and speech therapy as well as home healthservices before she returned to Michigan. Her mother, being a "private person,"was uncomfortable with having strangers in her home. She became suspicious and beganaccusing them of stealing from her. When she refused to allow one of the home health aidesto enter her home, Susan was called in Michigan and told by an agency representative thatthe agency could no longer provide services. He suggested that she begin looking for anursing home.

Susan knows that her mother would not agree to move to a nursing home, and she also knowsthat her mother would not agree to come back to Michigan and live with Susan's family.Susan spends hours on the phone every day, trying to calm her mother down and allay herfears.

Even though her supervisors sympathize with her situation, they have expressed concernover the numerous distractions. Every time the phone rings, Susan's heart skips a beat.She is plagued with fear and guilt.